Wednesday, April 14, 2010

wading...

Things have been pretty heavy around here lately...just seems I am wading through mud to make things function.  Having Mas home for 10 days while he and I were sick did nothing to help that feeling!  I am weary and getting wearier, and am able to see how people finally throw in the towel and stop trying to be caregivers.  It's exhausting, both mentally and physically.

Mason's Palmtop is acting up again, also, which hasn't helped.  It decided to not have any sound the last few days...while we have found a way to fix it, so far, it seems it is on its' last leg, again.  Not great news considering that Mas is still struggling with our only backup device; the iPod with Proloquo2go.  The scrolling is still throwing him for a loop, so it's not a reliable device for him at the moment.

I have been searching for strength to get through the days ahead.  Trying to quilt, garden, walk, as much as possible...but knowing that I have to wake up early every day from here on out, change diapers, deal with his odd health troubles, feed someone, deal with behaviors,...it's just getting tougher and tougher to imagine myself doing this for another 10 years.  Hopefully things will ease up a bit or I will find some energy I didn't know I had.

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