Sunday, June 14, 2009
I was thinking today about Oprah interviewing Elizabeth Edwards following her husband's affair with "what's her name." (Believe you me; long after Elizabeth is passed on, we will still be saying that the other woman was "what's her name...." we will only remember Elizabeth.) She was talking about (very eloquently, I might add) how women work so hard to build a life with their husbands, sacrificing along the way to improve the home, family, etc., and then the "Other Woman" just decides she is going to swoop in and take over. Elizabeth said something to the effect of, "Go build your own life!" I thought that was pretty good advice, and also showed what an amazing woman Elizabeth was. There's a lot to be said about building your life with your husband and then having the rug pulled out from under you...I was thinking today, I am about to turn 40, have spent almost 20 years with this man, and this is it? It's incredible to me...all this hard work, with nothing to show for it. What makes a person decide his entire life with his wife, and his family, are suddenly worth nothing? I don't know. I guess the OW ("other woman" in divorce forum lingo; I've learned a whole new language the past two weeks...) must be way more enticing and incredible than us boring wives. Who knew I was supposed to be ignoring my kids and focusing only on my selfish needs all these years? Apparently, men find that attractive in the OW. Myself, I plan on continuing to focus on my kids and building a life for them where security is now present. The only rugs that I will pull out will be when it's laundry day. Two things I know for sure today: I'll never wear a ring on my left finger ever again, and, I will never understand how a wife, children, home, and life are worth less than a girlfriend. Call me crazy. I feel very stereotypical...like I'll "never be whole again." I suppose that's what everyone says at this point, but it's true. I guess we can only do what has to be done, and let the rest of it fall where it may. In the meantime, I'm going to go back to building my life.