Tuesday, June 24, 2008

whatchu lookin' at?

In addition to being a homebodied horde prone to driving without blinkers and expecting the right of way in every situation, be it vehicular or shopping cart, the Angry Blue Haired Mafia are masters at staking out their neighbors. My garden has not gotten where it is by me staying inside, hoping it grows. I throw a respectable amount of water on it every day, at pretty much the same time every day. I weed, I mulch, I prune, I stake, I fret, I observe, I sigh in its general direction. Don't think I'm doing that without an audience. I had no less than 2 ABHM members watching me water this morning. They don't so much watch as peer out their windows and stare, the entire time I'm watering. What's up with that? I am so tempted to just turn around and throw a double eagle. Man, would that be fun! Instead, I just nervously glance in their direction occasionally, while not wearing any earbuds, and hope no one is sneaking up behind me to tell me that I don't listen well. (If you're confused, see my earlier, original post on the ABHM.) If you're a "the glass is half full" type of person and would like to suggest to me that I wave to them, guess what? Tried that! Didn't work. I have a theory they are viewing us like some sort of lost tribe of Minnesota. I'm sure we have Annoying Neighbor Traits...but, honestly, I don't see that we could possibly have too many of them. Maybe, I'll put my earbuds in, but won't listen to any music. That way, when they start stalking me to tell me I don't listen well, I will swing around at the last minute and say, "Gotcha!" That would be fun, too! I know you think this is a lot of attention for a few individuals...but, when you water daily like I do, at 7:15 in the morning, it would be neat one day to have some privacy while doing it. Believe you me, as soon as we possibly can, we'll be erecting a 15 foot tall fence with barbed wire and motion sensor lights perched along the top; there will be a day in my future when I will be able to water in complete and total (and blissful!) privacy!

4 comments:

FishMama said...

As always, you crack me up, Cuz. And yes, the glass is half-full, and so I would say (cause it's not me I'm suggesting to do it) take them each a basket of homegrown veggies or bake them some cookies. And keep doing it with a smile on your face till ya kill 'em with kindness. Ye shall overcome!

FishMama said...

Or better yet, send Rocketman over to befriend them. If anyone can charm them, it would be Jack.

Jamie said...

Bake 'em the cookies with extra chocolate ex-lax. Did I just type that?

Monroegirl said...

Ex-lax?! Brilliant! HAHA! I just need to learn how to hang with the ABHM's during the day...sigh.