Monday, June 2, 2008

things that make you go...hmmmmmm....




So, here I am hovering at 38 years of age...looking at 39 shortly, and wondering if I should be in the midst of a mid-life crisis...or, am I already in one? Seems I should be well into a career by now, and raking in some dough. Instead, I'm usually making some sort of dough in the kitchen. Funny how one ends up doing things that you never though you would ever do...like, stay home and be a mom. I used to mock people who did that...(that was during college; blissfully unaware that someday I would be a mom to a special needs child, and smug in my belief that a bachelor's degree was the key to happiness...) ...all the time thinking, what a waste to go to college and then not use your degree. I wonder if our moms wanted something more, or were they content to be busy at home? (You'll see me bothering my mom in the photo above)...I was always proud to say she was my mom, and never wondered why she was home with us when we were little. She was always available to make cookies for school parties, I could always call her if I forgot something and needed her to bring it in to school, and she was always home when I got off the bus at the end of a long day. I have tried to maintain some sanity through volunteering and working for peanuts, but am realizing it may be too much work and not enough reward. I've done lots of volunteering over the years due to the intrinsic rewards, but even they can fade after time, and you are stuck with the Big Decisions, like, what is my time worth? If you saw my house and yard, you would say stay home and get to work! I imagine it may be time to concede that trying to do it all isn't all it's cracked up to be. And, hey, what's wrong with saying you're a mom, anyway? I'll try to work on that...

1 comment:

FishMama said...

Ain't nuttin' wrong with that! (Coming from a M.Ed who's "just home".)

Personally, I think your education has intrinsic value - a wider scope on the world and an ability to understand all the ins and outs of what your kids need.

You're doing great! Maybe we should trade messy house pics. ;)

Love ya, cuz!